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Category Archives: forgiveness

So, You Think You Know Me

I often wonder how you come up with the notion that you know me.  Too many times you have said that I am like this or I am like that.  You are only just seeing me but believe that you know what I am all about.  Let me ask you this:  Where were you:

When:  I was a child of 18 months in the early 1960s and survived an infection of spinal meningitis…at a time when the mortality rate was much higher than today.  Thankfully, I don’t remember it but apparently, I had to learn to walk all over.  To this day, I can’t stand cold showers–I was told that I was placed in ice water to battle the fever.  I have discolored and bad teeth attributed to the antibiotics used.  I was truly blessed.

When:  My parents divorced when I was four;

When:  I met my new older sisters; and subsequently, my younger siblings through the years;

When:  I was 9 or 10 — I was introduced to baseball, and I loved it; I was bitten on the finger by a garden snake while picking berries and suffered from acute appendicitis (not related to snake bite);

When:  I was 11 and 12 — I used to lay in my bed with my transistor radio under my pillow, pretending to be asleep but really listening to the evening baseball games; I dreamed of playing ball like Carl Yastrzemski;  I actually played baseball for a while but life took me in a different direction;

When:  I first kissed a girl — on the lips; my first date; getting my driver license and driving my first car;  and my first pickup truck with 3 on the column — it was missing 2nd gear;

When:  I wrestled, boxed a little and competed in gymnastics for a year;

When:  I enlisted in the Navy and left home;  arriving at boot camp; whoa — major life change!

When:  I arrived at the beach, at sundown, in San Diego, CA, on the 4th of July after driving cross-country to my first duty station;

When:  I flew in a helicopter to an aircraft carrier;  thinking all along there wasn’t enough deck for the helo;

When:  I met and fell in love with my first wife;

When:  I was at sea for months at a time — and later was divorced from my first wife;

When:  Iranian Hostage Crisis;

When: I first used a keypunch machine (1977); a computer (1981); my first microwave oven (1986) right after the shuttle Challenger blew up; my first cell phone (1987); I was studying computer programming; and got my first personal computer (1989);

When:  I visited numerous ports-of-call in many foreign countries being exposed to so many different cultures;

When:  I met my second wife;

When:  I was the third person in the world to hold my new born daughter;

When:  at 18 months old, I rushed my daughter to the hospital because she had eaten her grandmother’s blood pressure pill–I drove on the sidewalk to bypass traffic; and, at her bedside, I prayed all night for her recovery — God blessed us;

When:  I visited my mother, who had terminal cancer a few weeks before she died but because of “military operational commitments,” I could not be there when she passed but my brothers were with her;

When:  Desert Shield and Desert Storm;

When:  I got a second divorce; and lost custody of my daughter;

When: I didn’t get promoted, again — I retired from the Navy after 23 1/2 years’ of service;

When:  A heart arterial catheter angiogram;

When:  I was one of the last people to be with my former mother-in-law when she died — we had a rocky start but after her debilitating stroke, I read the Bible to her and we often prayed together in the last few months of her life;  I held her hand for a couple of hours in the hospital room the day she died–shortly after I left the hospital;

When:  I wandered, apparently aimlessly and selfishly, for several years;  searching for “happiness;”

When:  My first wife found me on the internet and after nearly 20 years we got back together;  we’ve been together for 11 years now.  She says she loves me…personally, I think she tolerates me;   😉

When:  My first granddaughter was born; I think I was about the 5th or 6th person to hold her but I was there when she was born;  there are now four grandchildren, two girls and two boys — the youngest is named after my dad and me;

When: My ex-wife unexpectedly died and I flew 3,000 miles to help comfort my daughter and two oldest grandchildren who knew her;

When:  I or my wife were out of work for extended periods of time; since 2006

When:  My mother-in-law had a stroke and came to live with us so we could help care for her; she is 87 now;

When:  five colonoscopies over the past 20 years;

When:  I draw or  paint pictures; or, (still WIP) writing a couple of books;

When:  After nearly 40 years’ as an administrator, I learned to:  publish ebooks, write a blog and build a solar battery bank by watching YouTube videos; It actually works the way it is supposed to– I’m stoked;

When: after many years of God’s prompting, I finally started ministry studies;  its not easy to find time to study, after working all day, as an olderly guy and still be able to spend quality time with my wife — she’s very understanding;

When:  that little boat has been sitting in my driveway for the past 2 years and hasn’t touched a lake yet, since I’ve had her…

These are snippets of my life — soooooooo much more has made the person I am today.  Yet, you think you know me.  You lie to me and tell lies about me; you steal from me; and, call me names when you think I don’t hear you.  I wonder, what is it really?

I know that you don’t really know me, you couldn’t regardless of how you try to portray yourself, especially at your young ages–remember, I was younger once, too.

God has told us to love one another — he didn’t say, “no matter how difficult your fellow man makes it…”

Matthew 22:35 And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. 36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” 37 And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

You probably don’t even realize that I pray for you daily but that’s okay.  I pray that God will open your spirit, your heart and your mind to the salvation of Christ Jesus, who paid the ultimate price for all of us; who is the way to eternal life.

No, you don’t know me and I don’t really know you even though I’ve been where your are and I know — for many of us, there is freedom when we surrender to the will of God, in the name of Jesus — His only begotten Son.

 

Jay 🙂

 

 

 

 

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The Difficulty of Forgiveness

The Difficulty of Forgiveness

How often have we thought ‘what a wonderful feeling it would be to ________ (fill in the blank)…’ the person who has caused us pain?

Who is it that has hurt you?  Was it your dad, mom, sibling, other family member, the neighborhood or school bully, someone outside of your normal surroundings?

How deep is the wound?  Were you devastated?  Is the wound a gash or a paper cut?  Did you think it was healed only to find out it only has a scab that you keep picking at?

Have you really tried to heal but there’s always something stuck in the back of your mind that you can’t shake it?

If you were a child and felt defenseless to the pain that was caused you and now you’re an adult you believe that you can not only defend yourself but you too can inflict some justified hurt in retaliation.  Perhaps that person is in your life everyday and won’t own up to their part in your pain.  Maybe they moved away or maybe they have since died and you can’t strike out against them in the manner in which you feel would give you the most satisfaction.

Don’t you just love it when someone tells you, “forget them…they’re not worth your time or energy;” or maybe, “it’s them, not you, get on with your life…”  Yes, just get on with your life.  But, they never tell you how.  How do you get on with you life when you feel as though you have no life because of your pain?  How do you stand up for yourself in a world where no one seems to really understand?

Family and friends are good to have around but we’ve got to be realistic when it comes to the influence that people have in our lives.  If we are with people who are mentally or physically abusive to us or we feel powerless in an environment where others are being abused, it cannot be good to be there.  Often we seek escape.  Sometimes we escape by leaving and often carry guilt if we left someone behind who was vulnerable to abuse.  But hey, we got out, right?  Sometimes we escape with alcohol, drugs and even to others, or lifestyles that are just as damaging even if alcohol and drugs are not involved.  Sometimes, some of us escape to death.  We often seek love–in all the wrong places.  Sometimes we seek help, most often from other people who may or may not be able to step in, provide sound advice or provide us some other form of assistance; sometimes we seek law enforcement aid, groups, or self-help guides; and then, some of us finally seek God.

Yes, God–often the last resort but the One with the most to offer.  The One who gave His only begotten Son so, if we believe in Him that was innocent, who was crucified to death, overcame death and arose after three days in a glorified body and ascended to be at the right hand of the Heavenly Father until a time that the Father declares and who will return to take the believers, first the dead in Christ and second those who are alive in Christ and will live eternity in Heaven with Him. (see John 3:16)

If we sincerely seek our Lord and Savior, Christ Jesus with a true and humble heart, and as the Apostle Paul may have said,  trust Him with all our έντερο (gut), then we shall be forgiven of all of our sins because Jesus, (okay here’s the difficult part to wrap our minds around) Jesus, took every sin, every bad feeling, everything that could ever possibly happen to us that would keep us unholy and not able to even be looked at by God the Father, He took it all upon Himself for each and everyone of us.  What?!!  I know, right?  So there is actually nothing that He doesn’t understand.  Because, as God, He is the only One who can actually hold the weight of it all.  Therefore, when we give up our pain(s) to Him, He truly understands our individual pain(s).  And, by forgiving us of our sins He makes it possible for us to forgive others who have wronged us.

The two main commandments that God has given us that are most important are:  Matthew 22: 37 Jesus replied, “‘You must love the lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39  A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.

Forgiveness toward others who have hurt or wronged us in some way does not come easy but often, forgiveness is not always about releasing the other person, especially when sometimes that person is not around to know that we have forgiven them.  Forgiveness is really about freeing ourselves.  When someone tells us to, “just forget about them…” that’s kind of hard to do if we haven’t forgiven them because the memory of the pain is still eating at us.  Forgiveness is hard but so is living with the hurt and anger the eats away at our insides, our lives and the innocents around us.  Be free neighbors, be free.

Psalms 56:11 (NLT)

I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?

The wounds are often deep and though some are paper cuts, ‪#‎forgiveness‬ is difficult for us. When we surrender our will to the will of our Lord and Savior Christ Jesus, forgiveness becomes familiar.

Matthew 19:26 (NLT)

Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.”

 

Listen, for He calls your name.  “Here I am, Lord,” I respond.

Jay 🙂

 
6 Comments

Posted by on March 9, 2016 in forgiveness, salvation, Uncategorized

 

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