Tag Archives: encouragement

So, You Think You Know Me

I often wonder how you come up with the notion that you know me.  Too many times you have said that I am like this or I am like that.  You are only just seeing me but believe that you know what I am all about.  Let me ask you this:  Where were you:

When:  I was a child of 18 months in the early 1960s and survived an infection of spinal meningitis…at a time when the mortality rate was much higher than today.  Thankfully, I don’t remember it but apparently, I had to learn to walk all over.  To this day, I can’t stand cold showers–I was told that I was placed in ice water to battle the fever.  I have discolored and bad teeth attributed to the antibiotics used.  I was truly blessed.

When:  My parents divorced when I was four;

When:  I met my new older sisters; and subsequently, my younger siblings through the years;

When:  I was 9 or 10 — I was introduced to baseball, and I loved it; I was bitten on the finger by a garden snake while picking berries and suffered from acute appendicitis (not related to snake bite);

When:  I was 11 and 12 — I used to lay in my bed with my transistor radio under my pillow, pretending to be asleep but really listening to the evening baseball games; I dreamed of playing ball like Carl Yastrzemski;  I actually played baseball for a while but life took me in a different direction;

When:  I first kissed a girl — on the lips; my first date; getting my driver license and driving my first car;  and my first pickup truck with 3 on the column — it was missing 2nd gear;

When:  I wrestled, boxed a little and competed in gymnastics for a year;

When:  I enlisted in the Navy and left home;  arriving at boot camp; whoa — major life change!

When:  I arrived at the beach, at sundown, in San Diego, CA, on the 4th of July after driving cross-country to my first duty station;

When:  I flew in a helicopter to an aircraft carrier;  thinking all along there wasn’t enough deck for the helo;

When:  I met and fell in love with my first wife;

When:  I was at sea for months at a time — and later was divorced from my first wife;

When:  Iranian Hostage Crisis;

When: I first used a keypunch machine (1977); a computer (1981); my first microwave oven (1986) right after the shuttle Challenger blew up; my first cell phone (1987); I was studying computer programming; and got my first personal computer (1989);

When:  I visited numerous ports-of-call in many foreign countries being exposed to so many different cultures;

When:  I met my second wife;

When:  I was the third person in the world to hold my new born daughter;

When:  at 18 months old, I rushed my daughter to the hospital because she had eaten her grandmother’s blood pressure pill–I drove on the sidewalk to bypass traffic; and, at her bedside, I prayed all night for her recovery — God blessed us;

When:  I visited my mother, who had terminal cancer a few weeks before she died but because of “military operational commitments,” I could not be there when she passed but my brothers were with her;

When:  Desert Shield and Desert Storm;

When:  I got a second divorce; and lost custody of my daughter;

When: I didn’t get promoted, again — I retired from the Navy after 23 1/2 years’ of service;

When:  A heart arterial catheter angiogram;

When:  I was one of the last people to be with my former mother-in-law when she died — we had a rocky start but after her debilitating stroke, I read the Bible to her and we often prayed together in the last few months of her life;  I held her hand for a couple of hours in the hospital room the day she died–shortly after I left the hospital;

When:  I wandered, apparently aimlessly and selfishly, for several years;  searching for “happiness;”

When:  My first wife found me on the internet and after nearly 20 years we got back together;  we’ve been together for 11 years now.  She says she loves me…personally, I think she tolerates me;   😉

When:  My first granddaughter was born; I think I was about the 5th or 6th person to hold her but I was there when she was born;  there are now four grandchildren, two girls and two boys — the youngest is named after my dad and me;

When: My ex-wife unexpectedly died and I flew 3,000 miles to help comfort my daughter and two oldest grandchildren who knew her;

When:  I or my wife were out of work for extended periods of time; since 2006

When:  My mother-in-law had a stroke and came to live with us so we could help care for her; she is 87 now;

When:  five colonoscopies over the past 20 years;

When:  I draw or  paint pictures; or, (still WIP) writing a couple of books;

When:  After nearly 40 years’ as an administrator, I learned to:  publish ebooks, write a blog and build a solar battery bank by watching YouTube videos; It actually works the way it is supposed to– I’m stoked;

When: after many years of God’s prompting, I finally started ministry studies;  its not easy to find time to study, after working all day, as an olderly guy and still be able to spend quality time with my wife — she’s very understanding;

When:  that little boat has been sitting in my driveway for the past 2 years and hasn’t touched a lake yet, since I’ve had her…

These are snippets of my life — soooooooo much more has made the person I am today.  Yet, you think you know me.  You lie to me and tell lies about me; you steal from me; and, call me names when you think I don’t hear you.  I wonder, what is it really?

I know that you don’t really know me, you couldn’t regardless of how you try to portray yourself, especially at your young ages–remember, I was younger once, too.

God has told us to love one another — he didn’t say, “no matter how difficult your fellow man makes it…”

Matthew 22:35 And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. 36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” 37 And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

You probably don’t even realize that I pray for you daily but that’s okay.  I pray that God will open your spirit, your heart and your mind to the salvation of Christ Jesus, who paid the ultimate price for all of us; who is the way to eternal life.

No, you don’t know me and I don’t really know you even though I’ve been where your are and I know — for many of us, there is freedom when we surrender to the will of God, in the name of Jesus — His only begotten Son.


Jay 🙂





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Take My Hand by Jay LeBorgne

Reach out, take my hand
allow me to walk with you
through forests, among trees
stroll along the beach, through life
Sit with me, take my hand
allow me to talk with you
through tough days; good times
listening, hearing, caring
Lay with me, take my hand
allow me to embrace you
share each other
share our love
Reach out, take my hand
allow me to grow old with you
through the rest of our days
together forever and always
Jay LeBorgne

Posted by on March 14, 2016 in relationships, Uncategorized


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The Difficulty of Forgiveness

The Difficulty of Forgiveness

How often have we thought ‘what a wonderful feeling it would be to ________ (fill in the blank)…’ the person who has caused us pain?

Who is it that has hurt you?  Was it your dad, mom, sibling, other family member, the neighborhood or school bully, someone outside of your normal surroundings?

How deep is the wound?  Were you devastated?  Is the wound a gash or a paper cut?  Did you think it was healed only to find out it only has a scab that you keep picking at?

Have you really tried to heal but there’s always something stuck in the back of your mind that you can’t shake it?

If you were a child and felt defenseless to the pain that was caused you and now you’re an adult you believe that you can not only defend yourself but you too can inflict some justified hurt in retaliation.  Perhaps that person is in your life everyday and won’t own up to their part in your pain.  Maybe they moved away or maybe they have since died and you can’t strike out against them in the manner in which you feel would give you the most satisfaction.

Don’t you just love it when someone tells you, “forget them…they’re not worth your time or energy;” or maybe, “it’s them, not you, get on with your life…”  Yes, just get on with your life.  But, they never tell you how.  How do you get on with you life when you feel as though you have no life because of your pain?  How do you stand up for yourself in a world where no one seems to really understand?

Family and friends are good to have around but we’ve got to be realistic when it comes to the influence that people have in our lives.  If we are with people who are mentally or physically abusive to us or we feel powerless in an environment where others are being abused, it cannot be good to be there.  Often we seek escape.  Sometimes we escape by leaving and often carry guilt if we left someone behind who was vulnerable to abuse.  But hey, we got out, right?  Sometimes we escape with alcohol, drugs and even to others, or lifestyles that are just as damaging even if alcohol and drugs are not involved.  Sometimes, some of us escape to death.  We often seek love–in all the wrong places.  Sometimes we seek help, most often from other people who may or may not be able to step in, provide sound advice or provide us some other form of assistance; sometimes we seek law enforcement aid, groups, or self-help guides; and then, some of us finally seek God.

Yes, God–often the last resort but the One with the most to offer.  The One who gave His only begotten Son so, if we believe in Him that was innocent, who was crucified to death, overcame death and arose after three days in a glorified body and ascended to be at the right hand of the Heavenly Father until a time that the Father declares and who will return to take the believers, first the dead in Christ and second those who are alive in Christ and will live eternity in Heaven with Him. (see John 3:16)

If we sincerely seek our Lord and Savior, Christ Jesus with a true and humble heart, and as the Apostle Paul may have said,  trust Him with all our έντερο (gut), then we shall be forgiven of all of our sins because Jesus, (okay here’s the difficult part to wrap our minds around) Jesus, took every sin, every bad feeling, everything that could ever possibly happen to us that would keep us unholy and not able to even be looked at by God the Father, He took it all upon Himself for each and everyone of us.  What?!!  I know, right?  So there is actually nothing that He doesn’t understand.  Because, as God, He is the only One who can actually hold the weight of it all.  Therefore, when we give up our pain(s) to Him, He truly understands our individual pain(s).  And, by forgiving us of our sins He makes it possible for us to forgive others who have wronged us.

The two main commandments that God has given us that are most important are:  Matthew 22: 37 Jesus replied, “‘You must love the lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39  A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.

Forgiveness toward others who have hurt or wronged us in some way does not come easy but often, forgiveness is not always about releasing the other person, especially when sometimes that person is not around to know that we have forgiven them.  Forgiveness is really about freeing ourselves.  When someone tells us to, “just forget about them…” that’s kind of hard to do if we haven’t forgiven them because the memory of the pain is still eating at us.  Forgiveness is hard but so is living with the hurt and anger the eats away at our insides, our lives and the innocents around us.  Be free neighbors, be free.

Psalms 56:11 (NLT)

I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?

The wounds are often deep and though some are paper cuts, ‪#‎forgiveness‬ is difficult for us. When we surrender our will to the will of our Lord and Savior Christ Jesus, forgiveness becomes familiar.

Matthew 19:26 (NLT)

Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.”


Listen, for He calls your name.  “Here I am, Lord,” I respond.

Jay 🙂


Posted by on March 9, 2016 in forgiveness, salvation, Uncategorized


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February 29, 2016 #PrayerRequest

February 29, 2016 #PrayerRequest

My fellow Christians and non-believers alike, I have a special prayer request for all who desire the Lord’s hand in our lives daily, throughout our nation and throughout the world as a whole.

So much is going on in this world today from apathy and corruption to hatred, murder and terrorism.  Many of us state that we’re tired of it and we want someone to do something about it.  I agree but I believe that “someone” is each one and all of us.

I believe that we as a nation of peoples and citizens of the world need to take action and conduct a time of adjoined prayer.

I am asking everyone to set aside 9:00 pm (1800) (where ever you happen to be in this world at your 9:00 pm (1800), where many people will be praying at one time for a 24-hour period) for a few minutes of prayer in which, we start with acknowledgement and praise to the Lord, our sovereign God, creator of everything from just His spoken word; let us give thanks to him for His creation and His sacrifice of His Son, Christ Jesus as payment for the sins of all people; thanks to him for His grace and forgiveness for whoever believes in the sacrifice of Jesus, that he died and was resurrected, conquering even death, and that we accept this gift from Him with a humble heart; let us ask for our own forgiveness and for Him to tenderize our hearts to forgive others that we know or believe have done us wrong; let us pray for a resolution and true unity of our families, communities and nations; let us pray for God’s will to be done by all and that He bring us the return of Christ Jesus, Sovereign Ruler, King of Kings and King of Glory sooner rather than later.  Let us pray that He ends the suffering of our children.

You will not be alone–If you are a single person, your prayers will be adjoined by the Holy Spirit to the families, friends, groups and other peoples throughout the world as part of one voice, one prayer to the One True God.

Matthew 18:19 (NIV)

“Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.

I will speak to as many people as I can and pray daily over the next 40 days for the Lord to open the hearts and minds of as many people that are willing.  You are welcome to join me in these daily prayers, as well.

1 Kings 8:28 (NIV)

Yet give attention to your servant’s prayer and his plea for mercy, Lord my God. Hear the cry and the prayer that your servant is praying in your presence this day.

If you are willing, forward, copy and paste, transfer, speak to your family and friends and ask others to join in a worldwide prayer for the defeat over evil in our individual lives so that we may make a true Spiritual difference in our individual worlds.

For those of you who say that you do not believe, now…get a head start while there is still time for there will come a day when:

Philippians 2:9-11 (NIV)

9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name,

10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth,

11 and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

I make this request in humility as a son of the Living God, in the name of Christ Jesus, our Lord and Savior, Amen.


1 Comment

Posted by on January 19, 2016 in Prayer, Uncategorized


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Are You Man Enough?

Yeah, I’m talking to you.  I’m talking to the construction worker, the plumber, the installer, the accountant, the race car driver, the race car mechanic, any mechanic.  I’m talking to you, sailor, soldier, airman, marine.  I’m talking to you preacher man, politician and administrator.  Yeah, I’m talking to you biker guy, cyclist, and go cart racer.  And you, fishermen, hunters and cowboys.  I’m talking to all you men.   I don’t care what your religion is; I don’t care what your gender preference is; I don’t care what gender you used to be.  I don’t care what your job is or your hobbies.  What I want to know is, are you man enough to undergo a colonoscopy?  You heard me, a colonoscopy.  You know, where they check inside of your colon to see if you have colorectal cancer, or possibly, pre-cancerous polyps.

I’ve heard some pretty lame excuses from men of all walks of life.  One of my favorites was a guy who said, “If God wanted me to have someone looking up my ass, he would’ve put a window in my back.”  That would be interesting on many different levels.

I truly believe that most men avoid the doctor and procedures like colonoscopies because they are actually afraid…afraid that the results will be bad and they may have to deal with other procedures or even their own mortality.  Get some facts here ( such as, Colorectal cancer is the third leading cause of cancer-related deaths in the United States when men and women are considered separately, and the second leading cause when both sexes are combined. It is expected to cause about 49,700 deaths during 2015.  Why do I think more men die from colon/rectum cancer? Probably for the same reason they die of heart attacks and strokes — I’m only guessing here, but it may be because THEY DON’T GO TO THE DOCTOR AND GET THE CHECKUPS THEY SHOULD.  There are symptoms that can give you an idea that something might be wrong.  Many years ago when I was in my late thirties, I had blood in my stool—yep, you’ve got to be aware of stuff like that.  The doctor found nine pre-cancerous polyps and they were easily removed.  So, tomorrow, I go in for my fifth colonoscopy in 20 years. The last three were negative for polyps.  Today, I am preparing for the procedure.

What to expect.  Well, it all starts with your annual physical, or in some of your cases, an actual visit to the doctor.  If you’re over 50, I hear they recommend a colonoscopy anyway.  The doctor should ask you some questions that will determine if there is a problem, assuming you haven’t already discovered something.  Then you will be referred to a digestive specialist.  You will have an appointment with the digestive center (specialist) who may do a little checkup depending on if you have any problems.  In my case, they had a nurse come in and explain the procedures and give me a printout stating the preparation procedures–it took about a half hour.  Follow the instructions.  Get the proper stuff for the prep.  Make plans to take a couple days off.  Ensure that you have a person who can take you and drive you home after the procedure.  I have a really cool wife who does things like that for me.  If you don’t have a really cool wife, find someone who can assist you.  Maybe you can make a pact with one of your buddies…he helps you and in return when it’s his turn, you help him.

So, you’ve got to be on mega laxatives all day – don’t plan on leaving the house.  This is your day.  Let’s evaluate the positives in what would otherwise be a real “crappy” day.

For me today:  I’ve been able to spend the whole day with my two loving dogs; I got a load of laundry done; I got to catch-up read on FB, G+ and many of the posts of my fellow bloggers on WP and others places; I got to make somewhat asinine comments where and whenever possible; write this blog post (should’ve written more on my book but didn’t), paid bills, watched tv and gave myself a haircut.  The haircut part only works if you really don’t care what other people think about the way your hair looks.  😉 (If you cut your own hair it would be a good idea to get out the vacuum to get up all the little hairs—I know my wife expects appreciates it.)  Notice that you didn’t see me mention anything strenuous like yard work.  Trust me.

By now, you’ve probably figured that I’m not embarrassed to talk about this subject.  Not much embarrasses me—I’m the guy who sings karaoke without having alcoholic drinks first.

In reality, I want to encourage men to get their checkups.  There are so many silent killers out there that ensure we men die so much sooner than women.  Why?  I think, for the most part, we’re just as smart as women but we have something that gets in the way of us being man enough to take care of ourselves.  If you’re just waiting to get out of a bad marriage and you think that colorectal cancer is just a good a way as any, I say, “NO!” If you really want to make a point, outlive her.  That way, you get to decide where the bodies are buried.

I hope this gives you at least a small amount of encouragement, I hope.  Otherwise, maybe this will give you something to think about.  Do some research, find out what is involved.  Find out your family’s medical history and research other things, as well.  Also, encourage your sons and daughters; encourage your relatives and friends.  Encourage each other to do what it takes to live longer.  Don’t wait until you’re ill.  I’m sure you know someone who “died unexpectedly” and it turned out to be something that could’ve been taken care of if caught early enough or even prevented.  Start up a relationship with your doctor – take care of the whole body.  Know your body.  Lose weight – heck, I’ve already lost three pounds since yesterday.  😉  Know your cholesterol and triglyceride levels, know your blood pressure and heart rate; know your exercise routine; know your wife, kids and grandchildren.  And, as a Christian, I say, “know your God.”  Reduce your stress and do your best, in a cold cruel world, to enjoy your life.

Any women out there reading this, get your checkups and persuade your men; and your sons and daughters to do the same.

Oh…Sorry, gotta go.

Jay 🙂

And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.


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We Live in an Ambiguous Society

Disclaimer: The following is an opinion diatribe…read at your own interest.


If bald is beautiful, why is hair restoration so important?

Vagueness seems to be common place in our society. Why?

Political Correctness, not wanting to hurt others’ feelings, personal and mental sensitivity; not being able to see past one side of a situation or object; or perhaps, we lack the ability to express or describe something for fear of all those things. Moreover, I think the answer is actually within us, personally, because we’re afraid. Yes, afraid of how we will be perceived.

Take the blunt person. How many times have we complained that person is a bully, contrary, argumentative or that they’re just a(n) (smart)ass? We often hear that he or she is just mean, not to mention the vulgarities used to describe them. Do we ever take into consideration of what they are telling us, regardless of how it is delivered?

Then there is the meek person, the person who doesn’t make themselves clear because they are afraid of how they will be perceived. And then, we call them weak, timid, shy and often make fun of them or just dismiss their views altogether.

How about the uninformed person? They speak to be involved even though they do not have a grasp of the facts of a situation, person or object. We are quick to describe them as a village idiot and also ignore them.

The gamers, liars, performers, politicians…just to single out a few, all bring up negative views in our minds but yet, we are reluctant to describe them as they truly are [perceived].

Think about how many times we denounce violent behavior but do nothing to stop it because the solution often requires, yes, violence.  How can we coexist with people who literally want to kill us?

Our personal standards of what is right and wrong, our own filters and barriers, our fears, fears of rejections, retaliation, or of being ostracized, often dictate how we describe the world around us.

I enjoy when people like me but I don’t care if they do. I really mean it. I am somewhat of an extrovert because my life has ran the course from here to there, so many “new” environments and places—personally as well as employment. I wasn’t raised to be meek but I have learned to tone down my bluntness; and I am now more reluctant to fight at the drop of a word—argue maybe but not fight.

In the midst of the destruction of our society, as we have known it, dialogue is so beneficial. However, when one group seems to have all the answers, for everyone regardless of our differences, no matter which side of the situation we are on, we will find the enslaved and oppressed on the other side. I do not say this about a particular group of peoples based on color, ethnicity or religion. I say this based on a free people of this country, the United States of America, which for at least the past decade has been anything but united.

It is ideology that is changing our way of life and regardless of the ambiguity of our situation, it appears ambivalence is a driving force. One size does not fit all, in spite of what “they” tell us.

No, violence is often not the answer but when survival is at stake, sometime we must defend ourselves. But what will be the reasons behind our fight? Will it be so that we can have more and someone else have less? Will it be so that we can be recognized for ourselves, our individual ways of life(styles)? Will it be for our religious freedoms and whether ours will be the dominate one? Will it be for our children, so that if there is a future, it will be a good and prosperous time for them?

Or, will it be for our freedom? Freedom from tyranny brought on by those that seemingly know what is better for us as a “society” regardless of what is better for us as individuals of a nation.  Regardless of what we really want?

I would hope that we cast our ambivalence aside and make a stand for our individual freedom over a society of leeches. When someone receives, it has to come from somewhere. Are we as a hard-working people going to let them take it (whatever the “it” is) from us without some kind of stand? I would hope not.

Open dialogue is good – intimidation is not. Do not allow yourselves to be intimidated anymore. Speak up before they tell you your speech is no longer free. Don’t be vague, tell us how you really feel about something. Ambiguity may be killing you.

I can’t see the top of my head, in your opinion, am I bald, yet?

Jay 🙂



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Time management: perhaps you should have departed sooner…

2nd Oil

2nd Oil

Time management: perhaps you should have departed sooner…

That’s my new bumper sticker. Well, it soon will be once I receive it in the mail next week.

Okay, so I’m the guy you hear about at work from one of your irate co-workers explaining why they are late for work—you know, the one who is late all the time. They will rant and rave about this guy in a perfectly healthy Jeep Liberty who apparently had nothing better to do than to hold up traffic and cause them to get caught by every light, and stop sign. They will not, however, take responsibility for their own lack of time management that led to their tardiness.

Yep, I’m the speed limit guy. Occasionally, I drive over the speed limit by a couple of mph but normally it’s the speed limit. If my wife wants to get somewhere in a more timely manner, she’ll offer to drive.

I must note that it drives me nuts when someone else drives under the speed limit when there are no reasons to do so, such as, inclement weather, construction, a parade or heavy traffic. I do my best to plan my events, manage my time to where I can get to where I’m going and be there on time. Even traveling the speed limit, I’m usually there ahead by 10 minutes or right on time. Sometimes I miss the mark but not by much (unexpected parades).   😉

You see, I used to be in a hurry and yell at all the other drivers for their mistakes. It was not pretty. My so-called road rage was really just inside my car most of the time with an occasional hand signal to other drivers to let them know I was not pleased with their road skills.

It took a while for me to mature in this area but now that I’m an olderly guy, I like having less stress in my life. I drive to work, at ease.  When I get to work, I’m calm and relaxed because I’ve had no drama to kick me up. I can recommend it to anyone who suffers from time mismanagement. If you have to, get up 10 minutes early.  Enjoy your coffee, watch the weather and traffic reports and leave at a time that is most convenient to you for you to enjoy your drive. If you have little kids, well, that’s on you–do your best.  Maybe people at work will notice your calmness and appreciate it.

I’ve started noticing landmarks that I previously did not know existed.  When people say to me, “You know, down by such a place or such a street,” I can say, “Yes, I do.”

Oh, to the guy in the little white Toyota that sped around me in the no passing zone and almost got hit by the firetruck…you know.

And to the rest of you that like to drive fast because you don’t care about rules and laws and think they don’t apply to you, don’t whine and cry if you are the survivor.

Jay 🙂

Every day is someone’s judgement day…be prepared or be extra careful.


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Time to Move On

As managers, we sometimes find ourselves having to say so long to an assistant who is, was a valuable asset to our success as a manager.  When it has been a mutually beneficial working relationship, it is most difficult but we must know when it is time for someone to move on toward whatever they’re needing for their career benefit.

And, as managers, part of our moral obligation is to properly utilize our assets.  Our valued employees are truly assets.  Now, there are various points of our jobs that are more than what is seen on the surface.  We are representatives of the companies at which we are employed, as much as we are service providers to the customers and mentors to our young associates.

Many of you have seen me mention my assistant, Brittany on a few occasions.  Well, the time for Brittany to move on has come.  An opening at one of the sister facilities proved too valuable for Brittany for me to not recommend her to fill it—more responsibilities, more hours and of course more pay goes with more hours.

Brittany has come a long way in the past year.  She finished her AS in Business and will complete her HR degree next month.  Accomplishments to be proud of, surely.  She grew from her skittishness when first speaking to customers on the phone to her now contacting customers who are delinquent on their billing and making arrangements for their payments.  The shy young woman who came to work for me but her eagerness to learn and prove herself to me, as well as herself, prevailed; and she became someone I could rely on to take care of things when I wasn’t in the office.

I was asked by someone how I could let her go but assuredly, I am not letting her go…I am encouraging her to move on and soak up some more of her life’s adventure.

There comes a time in every manager’s life when they realize they can do very little more to enhance an assistant’s knowledge in the workplace and must watch them move on.  That time for me and Brittany has come.  She won’t be far and when I go on my 4-day weekend next month, she’ll be filling in for me.  It makes me proud that she has reached a level of confidence to where she can venture out into a new work experience, as well as fill my spot in my absence.

I wish for her that the next phase be at least as pleasant as it was having her here with me.

So long my young friend…for now.

Jay 🙂


Posted by on April 15, 2015 in encouragement


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New To Blogging?

Weren’t we all…

Everything has already been created. With that said, it is how we rearrange the pieces of everything that tells a new story, expresses a new idea, perspective or point of view.

As a new blogger, the hardest thing to do is get started. We wonder to ourselves, “what do I have to say that will be interesting to others?” We wonder if we are good enough and will readers like us because we are putting ourselves out there for the world to see. We’re sharing what we feel is us, that part that makes us a person. Or are we?

We share for many reasons:  encouragement, inspiration, teaching, therapy, humor, perspective of ever day life, etc.

In reality, when we write our posts we are expressing ideas, ideals, opinions, perspectives and images. Very few people can or will ever put their real selves out there. We share bits and pieces of the stuff that is inside us but each person has their own perspective when reading. Their own interpretations. Some get us…some do not. It is no different than the real lives we lead each and every day. We are often one way at home and another at work; one way with family, loved ones, friends and another with acquaintances and strangers. We write from ourselves and to various audiences.

As new bloggers we must determine what we are going to share and how we are going to share it. We can tell snippets from our lives, stories of family and work day events; humorous or serious; fact or fiction; inspirational or (self)-defeating; cathartic release for our own personal therapy or sharing of experiences for others to benefit from as they go through similar experiences. There are as many subjects as there are writers and readers.

Guess what? Not everyone is going to see it the same way we do and not everyone is going to like what we have to say. We need to understand that should not reflect on how we see ourselves. If we determine that our blog is us, then we are perhaps putting just a bit too much into our blogs. There is no way for the world to know the real us without living each and every day with us. We often lie to ourselves, how can we truly express every detail of us to the reading public? Even our reflection in the mirror goes through the filters in our psyche. We read other blogs with the same filters.

We see other blogs with hundreds or thousands of followers and want to be successful just like them. What makes them successful?

Some bloggers are serious, purist writers and they would hope that everyone who writes is the same; while others with the same or similar abilities are elitist and believe that they and their kind are the only ones who should express their ideas in writing because they have a gift or have been through the grueling education that makes a real writer (author). Some of us are hacks at writing. Expressing ourselves in an environment that should be for true professionals but we may do a bad job of it, probably because we haven’t paid our dues and obtained all the education—grammar is often the truth teller.   There is something to learn from all of these writers. If you pay attention, you can see what to do and what not to do but don’t let it define you. Purist will often help when asked by someone who is truly interested and willing to learn, not someone who just asks questions; elitist will often belittle you for not knowing what they know and hacks will just continue with their program.

You will hear of and see trolls. Online trolls are mean-spirited and look only to argue and demean regardless. Their goals often appear to be to put others down in order to build themselves up…little do they know. Pay no attention to their issues and don’t make them yours–don’t get into it with them.  And most of all, do not believe them when they attack you—you are as free as you allow yourself to be not how anyone else tells you to be.

You will see some bloggers make fools of themselves by their written actions. Some will ask you to like them, follow them, embrace their vulgarities and offensive words…some will ask for funding. They most likely have an obsessive need for acceptance and want to be accepted for their negativity when they really don’t have or don’t know how to contribute respectfully or positively.

There are many people out there who the attempt to be offensive and yet they only provoke as a younger brother would a sibling sister; others say they’re offense but in reality are only thought promoters. Some attempt to provide words for ingestion of thought but the waste product smells less of a rose. There are others who intend to offend and they truly do.

Some have legitimate charities or businesses and will promote them.

Some write to teach or promote writing. They share the secrets of writing and blogging—they even have classes. What could it hurt? Nothing, as long as you’re learning something. If you are losing yourself and becoming someone else, you might want to rethink and glean practical substance over personal style. Your style will already be there or will emerge as you continue to write—you will find the way you want to express yourself.

Some people share other people’s posts but never share of themselves.

Some will tell you that you must get followers to be a success; while others will tell you that what and how you write will get people to follow you. People can’t follow you if they don’t see you. You must get yourself out there. Often the best way to get some notice is to read other blog posts and comment when appropriate and what is appropriate to the conversation. Your thoughts on a subject, pro or con, will quite often result in others going and checking out your page to find out more about you.  If not daily then weekly, go check other blogs just to see what they’re up to…read their content and say something, like something, encourage them to continue sharing.

Some bloggers only want or have followers–they do not follow.  You’ve got to be a well known author, have a fantastic product (your writing) and a very unique self-perspective in order to pull it off.  That doesn’t mean they don’t read other blogs but someone at that level is probably swamped with a daily professional life that can take its toll with book signings, interviews, etc.; and with hundreds of thousands of followers, there’s no way they could ever hope to get to anyone if they re-followed every one that followed them–you follow me? 😉  Don’t be offended, they’re probably not following anyone else either.

Frequency and consistency of posts will result in a more consistent following. I know this from personal experience. I took care of life for about 20 days and didn’t write any posts during that time. Very few came to my blog and no one new followed my blog during that down period. Once I started writing and reading again, the numbers increased and have stayed consistent. You must be involved in writing and reading, liking and commenting to help being seen which will result in people paying attention and in turn, commenting, liking and following your posts. People like interaction.  However, most people don’t want to go first.  It’s okay, go first.  Just as you are particular about what and who you are willing to follow, so are others. Don’t be offended if people don’t send likes. Often, people read and move on to the next post. Sometimes, they think about what they read, and later come back with a like or comment.

We as individuals must determine what we want to share. We as readers will determine what is acceptable. What we write about does say something about us as much as what we read. However, what we write isn’t all of us. If you seek to be liked and followed but people don’t like what you’re writing change what and/or how you write. If you’re new to writing, learn what you can about writing, learn how to express yourself that will invite readers.

Most of all, write for yourself. Remember from the movie Field of Dreams, “Build it and they will come…” There’s plenty of room for one more, if necessary, they’ll add another server just so you have a space to be you.

It’s long, I know but if you got this far, I appreciate it. I hope this will encourage you to progress forward with your blog. I hope we’ll get a chance to know a little bit about you through your writing.

We write, read, edit, rewrite and wonder if it will ever be good enough.

The next hardest thing to do is click on the [Publish] button. Go ahead, click it…it’ll be okay.

Jay 🙂


Posted by on March 23, 2015 in blogging


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What Crawled Up Your..?

Today was a pretty good day.  It started with no breakfast (yes, that means no coffee or grapefruit juice) and a trip to the dentist because I broke a tooth on Friday.  It took me about a half-hour to drive a 15-minute trip; then I waited at reception for almost another 15 minutes while the patient ahead of me just couldn’t figure out her schedule when making a followup appointment.

Then, I met Renee.  Her first day on the job as the Dentist’s assistant.  She is so nice that I almost wanted to pinch her just to see if she was real.  Dr Sharon was her great self and prepared my tooth for an upcoming crown in a couple of weeks.  The greatest hygienist, Lauren heard I was in and stopped by to say hello and remind me that I’d be seeing her in May.  A new person at the front desk on my way out gave me the bad news about the cost but assured me that it could be taken care of later when the crown is applied.  Whew!

Numb faced, I took the long way to the office knowing I would pass right by the donut shop…but I didn’t, I stopped and went inside.

I waited in line behind several people.  When it was my turn, I said, “Hey, how ’bout a donut for this old man?”  She responded a bit curtly as to did I want something or not.  Hmmmm… Two other young ladies told me not to mind her and asked me what kind of donut I wanted.  Then they collaborated to find an old fashioned with chocolate icing.  When time to pay, the original person told me the price and when I handed her a $20 bill for $2.01 charge she said, and I kid you not, “So what?  No penny, really?”  I was a little surprised but said that I was sorry but I had left the house with no change in my pocket but after she gave me change then I would have some for the next place I went and thanked her.  Meanwhile, the other two jumped in asking her, “what crawled up your…” and then they started speaking in Spanish. I just said thank you and departed.

“What crawled up your…” went around in my mind as I continued my drive to the office.  After having witnessed that young lady treat the several people in front of me politely, what happened when I got to the counter and attempted a light-hearted order?  I surmised that five customers in a row must have been her limit.

Then I wondered, do I do that?  Do I treat that one customer too many rudely?  The only way to know is to keep an eye on myself to ensure that I don’t in the future.

So, I get to work and a customer is at the counter engaged with my wonderful assistant, Brittany (who was so nice to come in today on her day off and cover for me while I was at the dentist).  Something about him wasn’t right with the questions he was asking and so I stepped in to inquire how I could help him with his request.  He quickly made his exit.  Brittany informed me that he was insisting on 24-hour access but he had no reason for being on the property outside of normal access hours.  It was good that he left.  Not every customer is right.  I was pleased with the way she handled him though he was acting odd and potentially could have been a problem later.  Brittany is nice and has a great customer service demeanor.

After my regular property inspection and a little time with the maintenance guy, I had to go to the hardware store (okay it was one of those big home stores) to obtain some much needed parts to repair some broken things on the property.  I really don’t like those places because I’ve actually spent too much time there lately for home projects.  Anyway, I was expecting, or I should say, not expecting the great customer service I received from a few different employees.  People who answered my questions, showed me how something worked, looked in the back for parts, and one person even took instructions from one box and made me a copy to take with me for something that I already had but need more information.  I was pleasantly surprised enough that I had to tell the store manager.

I got back to work and received a passdown from Brittany before she departed to return on Thursday to make my life easier again.  The remainder of the day was fairly busy with paying customers and numerous phone calls, including a few time hackers.  New customers who spent a great deal of time chatting as though we were old friends; some older customers chatting also as though we are old friends.  😉

At the end of the day, I looked back and thought that all-in-all was a really good day.  Out of a long, very busy day, I only witness two rude people.  What started as a potentially crappy day wasn’t so crappy after all.  I think it may have something to do with attitude.  An attitude of a lot of people who have just come out of a long winter and decided that they are just happy that it is over.  Or, maybe there are just some nice people out there that I’ve missed until now.  Or maybe, they’ve been there all the time but now my attitude is more open so that I can see them.

Of course there was the great chat with dad on the drive home.

Jay 🙂


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